THE SWC

The Strong Willed Child.  Do you have one?  I do!  God, in His infinite humor, waited until our last to give bless us with him.

Let me start by saying, in case you do not know us, we adore this child!  We love this child dearly!  He was longed for for years, he was prayed for for years, and we fought hard to bring him home.  He makes us laugh, he is smarter than us (really, I think he is), and he is a love bug that loves to snuggle.

But he also makes us tired.  He is a Strong Willed Child (SWC).  BIG TIME!  Ask me how easy that was to adjust to.  NOT!  We taught parenting classes for several years.  We told people how easy it was to raise children.  We delighted in our 3 easy children.  And now...we apologize and take back most of what we ever said about child rearing.  ;)

The Strong Willed Child....they are just wired differently.  They push the rules- constantly.  They change their minds- regularly.  And they dig their feet in the sand- stubbornly. 

For example...For months all I have heard is "Is it summer yet, is it summer yet? I want to wear shorts"  So...this morning, here is the conversation:
 Me- You can wear shorts today!
 Child- Oh.  I don't like shorts.  They are disgusting. (His new favorite word)  I am never wearing   shorts!

And a few nights ago:
 Me-Let's pick out a book to read before bed. (We do this every night!)
 Child- I don't like books.  No books, ever!
 Me- OK, bedtime them.  We can read tomorrow.
 Child- But I want you to read me books!

See?  And then I question..are these possibly adoption issues?  Are these SWC issues?  Some days I struggle to figure it out.  And some days, I just want  a do over!  In my questioning and talking to other parents, I was given a wonderful book called Raising Your Spirited Child, by Mary Kurcinka.  Did you catch that...SPIRITED child, not STRONG WILLED child.  Spirited...that's what caught my attention.  I love that!  SWC implies negativity, spirited implies, well...fun and challenging.  It's all a matter of how you look at it and how you approach the child.  It's about giving that child a little more time and a little more freedom to choose their path within the guidelines you provide.  It's about wording things just slightly different.  It's about a lot of patience and a lot of love.  It's a challenge, but it is making a difference.  A little at a time.  I'll take it!

We tend to be cyclic here- one bad week for every two good ones.  So we are rejoicing in the good and pushing through the bad one with better attitudes and smiles...us,  if not him!  :)  And we know that God has a wonderful plan for this spirited child...just as He has a plan for us!

Jeremiah 29:11" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Ephesians 6 "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."