Monday, September 1, 2014

S is for So About That Courting Thing...

This post has been rolling around in my head for some time now.  But since this article was posted, several friends have asked my opinion and thoughts.  So here I go, trying not to step on any toes...


I suspect that those who have done courtship successfully are big believers in courtship and those who have seen it fail do not believe in it.

Let's face it- it is easy to believe in something we see as good.  It is equally as easy to throw stones at something we see as flawed.

As for the article- it has some really good points and it has some really bad ones.  I also think it had no real answers for our young people.

You want to know why?

Because there are no real answers.  No two people are alike, no two situations are alike, and no book has all the answers.  Trust me on that one, as we have read them all!  If we try to pattern our lives and relationships after books and other people, we are doomed to fail.

If we trust and rely on God to lead us, we will succeed.

I do not think the issue is what we call it, or how exactly we do it, but instead who is glorified through it.

So, for now, our rule is no dating in high school.  That's it.  After that, we are open to what God has in store.

And my biggest advice for my girls and my boys- marry your best friend!  You can't go wrong!

I married my best friend, and while every step of our journey hasn't looked like a fairy tale to the outside world, he is still my prince. And best friend!


Blessings,


Ben and Me

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10 comments:

  1. Yes, I have to agree. I think trying to make something the formula and right way can be dangerous. Marry your best friend and then keep it that way.

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    1. We have thrown formulas out the window!

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  2. Nicely done. Love your wedding pictures! You two are so cute!! Jennifer

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  3. That first statement, I'd say, is precisely right: "I suspect that those who have done courtship successfully are big believers in courtship and those who have seen it fail do not believe in it."

    I myself had a good experience with courtship--and I think there are better and worse ways of going about it. For my parents, they're biggest priority was us kid not getting involved in romance when we were too young to even know much about it or be interested in marriage. I became friends with my husband when we were both in college, and yep, I'd say marrying your best friend is just about the best strategy out there. We're a bit of an unexpected couple, I imagine--he was 26 and I was 19 when we got married, we grew up in different countries and have different native languages. My parents got to know him right from the beginning and I'm grateful that they were wisely able to see that he is an excellent man and that we make a very good pair.

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    1. Thanks for visiting Rachel! You have a beautiful blog and a beautiful story! Many blessings to you and your husband.

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  4. BINGO! "I do not think the issue is what we call it, or how exactly we do it, but instead who is glorified through it." As you said, every person, every couple is different. I'd also add that age factors in here too. Principle's, yes. Formula's, no.

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  5. As our oldest grows toward her teen years, I don't know what will happen. As for now, we are landing at the same place you have: no dating. We will encourage all of our girls to make as many friends as they can and to spend time in groups with all sorts of Christian friends. We do not plan to allow them to date or court or whatever the word might be when we get there. We want them to find a husband that has a heart for God, first and foremost, and believes all that God says in His word.
    This is a lovely post, Michele. Thank you for sharing your heart about something that is so divisive at this time. You did a wonderful, kind, and heartfelt job of sharing that most important question: who is glorified through it? - Lori H

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    1. "We want them to find a husband that has a heart for God, first and foremost, and believes all that God says in His word." I LOVE THIS LORI!!
      Thanks for your sweet words!

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