Guest post from ALP- Christian Romance and Why I Gave it Up

Guest post from my 18 year old daughter.  Enjoy!

“Christian” Romance and Why I Gave it Up

(All Scripture taken from the KJV)

Note: This post is not meant to be judgmental, nor do I desire to call anyone out. This is simply something that I have dealt with in my life and that I see many girls and ladies dealing with. Comments (even those that disagree) are encouraged and welcomed, however, as Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.”

I like to read. A lot.  In fact, I have often gotten in trouble for reading when I was supposed to be doing something such as school or even eating or sleeping.  And contrary to what you might expect, especially coming from someone who personally owns over 400 books (I know, I know, I have issues), selecting a book to read can be a challenge.  Sometimes books masquerade as good Christian books but really are not.  I have found Christen Romance books to be a prime example.

                Now, is there a verse in the Bible that specifically forbids reading Christian romance?  No. However, there are some verses that pertain to it. Song of Songs 8:4 says: “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.”  When we (girls and even married ladies alike) read romance of any sort it can stir up feeling in us that we might not have had otherwise.  The written word is powerful!  Song of Songs exhorts us to not awaken love until the right time.  Proverbs 4:23 says “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”  A different translation says “guard your heart.”  Unfortunately, by awakening love before God’s appointed time we aren't keeping or guarding our hearts, but opening them up to things we may not be ready to be exposed to.  Finally, Philippians 4:7-8 says “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”  I am not saying that all Christian romance novels are impure, but if they are causing us to be impure or to think impure thoughts then they are not things that God calls us to think on or have anything to do with.  It is also easy to let our minds wander from reality; comparing ourselves to girls in books and being deceived by unrealistic scenarios.

If we were to be honest with ourselves we would find that most supposedly “Christian” romance novels are just romance novels that use implications instead of explicitness or have a main character that goes to church and/or is Amish.

 I have found that the “Christian” romances that I once read did not draw me closer to God or point me to Christ, but took up time that could have been spent in much more profitable ways. They also gave me unrealistic expectations and ideas of both men and marriage.  Christian or not, most men do not ride up on white horses or even catch girls’ eyes from across the room.  Good relationships are built through time and God’s leading.  That can be tough to hear!  Trust me, I have read my share of Amish and Christian romance.  It was tough for me to hear this message from someone several years ago, and even tougher to admit that I had wasted so much time reading junk that I had justified as “Christian.”  As the Lord worked in my heart I began to see what I had been reading in a new light.

Guarding our hearts requires more than just not reading the obvious steamy romances;  it requires full submission to God and the willingness to give up things for Him.  We have a saying in our family; She who is most defensive or offended is probably the most convicted.  I know it is true because it often applies to me.  So before you get defensive and prove that you are convicted, =) I would encourage you to take a good, long look at what you are reading and why you are reading it, and let God work in your heart.

Blessings, ALP