“Christian” Romance and Why I Gave it
Up
(All Scripture taken from the KJV)
Note: This post is not
meant to be judgmental, nor do I desire to call anyone out. This is simply
something that I have dealt with in my life and that I see many girls and
ladies dealing with. Comments (even those that disagree) are encouraged and
welcomed, however, as Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt communication proceed
out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may
minister grace unto the hearers.”
I like to read. A lot. In fact, I have often gotten in trouble for
reading when I was supposed to be doing something such as school or even eating
or sleeping. And contrary to what you
might expect, especially coming from someone who personally owns over 400 books
(I know, I know, I have issues), selecting a book to read can be a challenge. Sometimes books masquerade as good Christian
books but really are not. I have found
Christen Romance books to be a prime example.
Now, is there a verse in the Bible that specifically
forbids reading Christian romance? No.
However, there are some verses that pertain to it. Song of Songs 8:4 says: “I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.” When we (girls and even married
ladies alike) read romance of any sort it can stir up feeling in us that we might
not have had otherwise. The written word
is powerful! Song of Songs exhorts us to
not awaken love until the right time. Proverbs
4:23 says “Keep thy heart with all
diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” A different translation says
“guard your heart.” Unfortunately, by
awakening love before God’s appointed time we aren't keeping or guarding our
hearts, but opening them up to things we may not be ready to be exposed to. Finally, Philippians 4:7-8 says “And the peace of God, which passeth all
understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally,
brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever
things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are
lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if
there be any praise, think on these things.” I am not saying that all Christian romance
novels are impure, but if they are causing us to be impure or to think
impure thoughts then they are not things that God calls us to think on or have
anything to do with. It is also easy to
let our minds wander from reality; comparing ourselves to girls in books and
being deceived by unrealistic scenarios.
If we were to be honest with ourselves
we would find that most supposedly “Christian” romance novels are just romance
novels that use implications instead of explicitness or have a main character
that goes to church and/or is Amish.
I have found that the
“Christian” romances that I once read did not draw me closer to God or point me
to Christ, but took up time that could have been spent in much more profitable
ways. They also gave me unrealistic expectations and ideas of both men and
marriage. Christian or not, most men do
not ride up on white horses or even catch girls’ eyes from across the room. Good relationships are built through time and
God’s leading. That can be tough to
hear! Trust me, I have read my share of Amish
and Christian romance. It was tough for
me to hear this message from someone several years ago, and even tougher to admit
that I had wasted so much time reading junk that I had justified as
“Christian.” As the Lord worked in my
heart I began to see what I had been reading in a new light.
Guarding our hearts requires more than
just not reading the obvious steamy romances; it requires full submission to God and the
willingness to give up things for Him. We have a saying in our family; She who is most defensive or offended is probably
the most convicted. I know it is
true because it often applies to me. So
before you get defensive and prove that you are convicted, =) I would encourage
you to take a good, long look at what you
are reading and why you are reading it, and let God work in your heart.
Blessings, ALP
Welcome! Follow our family of 6 on our military moving, God loving, homeschool adventure! We are honored you have joined us and look forward to hearing from you.
