"Our deepest emotional need is to feel loved"
This profound statement, found on page 119 of Gary Chapman's new book, A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages, speaks to me. It actually rattles inside my brain loudly. It is such a simple statement, and yet seems to be one that many in the world are missing. Actually, they are not just missing that statement, they are missing the love!
Look around you. There are people crying out for love. But there are also people trying to love them. So where is the disconnect? Why are we seemingly missing the boat?
Acoording to Gary Chapman, it is because each individual has one primary way in which they best recieve love- Words, Time, Gifts, Service, and Touch. He calls these the five Love Languages. They are the manner in which people can "speak" to us and fill our love tanks. In other words, the way they can best show us that they love us. The problem, he concludes, is that we do not know how to identify nor speak other's love languages. This sadly includes those nearest and dearest to us, such as family.
Many years ago my husband and I read Mr. Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages and it changed how we communicated, not only to each other but to others as well. It is concept we have embraced, used often, and love to tell others about. We have seen it work and we have taught it to our children.
In his new book A Teen's Guide to the 5 Love Languages, Gary simplifies his concepts and speaks dierectly to teens. While not watering down the information, he is able to introduce teens to the concept in a light and enagaging way. The first 5 chapters of the book explain each of the five love languages, while the next four talk about how those love languages relate to the teen and their family relationships.
One of the things I love the most about this 120 page book is that it is a quick and fun read for teens. Mr. Chapman writes in a conversational tone without being condescending, and includes "Case Studies" that teens are sure to relate to. At the end of each chapter is a section called Pause and Process that asks several related questions to get your teen to process what they read. These questions would be a good way to use the book in a group study situation, or simply as a springboard for conversation between teen and parent.
The book ends with a Love Languages profile which helps teens identify which love language is their primary love language.
By teaching our kids the 5 Love Languages and then how to use that knowledge to speak love to their friends, family, and those they come in contact with daily, we can equip them to better serve and meet the needs of others. It is a skill we could all stand to learn, don't you think?
Just leave me a comment here on the blog to win a copy! A random winner will be chosen next Thursday!
About the Author
Gary Chapman, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and counselor who has a passion for people and helping them form lasting relationships. He is the #1 New York Times bestselling author ofThe 5 Love Languages® and the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. Gary travels the world presenting seminars and his radio programs air on more than 400 stations. For more information, visit 5lovelanguages.com.