Marriage is Worth It

I have a sweet friend who is new to the blogging world that I just adore.  I actually met her when she was a teen- the daughter of a friend that God brought into my life when I didn't even know I needed a friend.  (I did!  And she has blessed me over and over again through the years!) She is so dear to my heart and of course, her sweet daughter is too.

By the grace and goodness of God, we were all reunited years later in Omaha.  That sweet teen has grown into a lovely young woman, who is now married and raising three precious girls.  I mean seriously, precious!

She shared a blog post this week that spoke to my heart.  It reminded me of my younger days with a new marriage and young children, and the challenges that holds.

And it reminded me of the importance of fortitude, and determination, and love and GOD!

It had a lot of good reminders to us all, whether a newlywed, or an old married pro.  (do those even exist?)

So I asked if I could share with you all!  She said yes!

Here ya go folks- enjoy and be blessed and remember that God's plan is perfect, even through the ups and downs!


You can find Kailah blogging at The Mindful Life.  Nebraska mama to 3 precious girls & wifey to my mister. A blog about real life, motherhood, meal planning, relationships, minimalism, and our passionate journey to Homeschooling.

My husband and I are celebrating seven years of marriage this coming Monday! These past seven years have flown by, and have blessed us more than we could have ever imagined. We have a very short timeline of when we met, when we got engaged, when we married, and when we had our first baby. Many people had doubts, but we knew that our commitment to one another was nothing to take lightly. We had a shotgun wedding, as some would tag us as, but the amount of love and support that we received from our friends and family was simply incredible. Now, seven years later, three miracle babies, three pregnancy losses, a home purchase, several family trips, the loss of my grandpa, an unbelievable amount of family drama that showed us that we cleave and settle into one another, instead of letting it tear us apart, and everything in between, has shaped the best and worst seven years of my life....

Read the rest here!

Blessings,

The Context of the Heart

During this very busy month a dear friend of ours offered to write a post for the blog, and I hastily took her up on it! We have known her for years and she is a fabulous writer. So, without further ado, here is Kelli!

Earlier this summer, I was in my room studying for the Pharmacy College Admissions test I am preparing to take soon. I opened up my study book to an impossibly long vocabulary list and a section that might as well be entitled, "Memorize the Dictionary Until You are More Literate than Merriam Webster Himself." My eyes wandered down the list.  I came upon the word "cavalier."  It was a word I was already somewhat familiar with.  It was used as the mascot of several small, rural towns as an alternative to the cliché "Roughrider" (a reference to our 26th President who my home state of North Dakota has claimed like a native). Like Roughrider, the word cavalier also conveyed the rugged, cowboy gallantry that had, through history and tradition, become our state's trademark.   After reading the concise definition in my study book, "carefree, happy" but underneath "lordly disdain," the word's complexity prompted me to cross-reference it further using an online dictionary.  I found that cavalier used as a noun referred to a knight or gallant but when used as an adjective it was defined as "haughty" or proud.  The same word acts like its own antonym depending on its part of speech.

 I suddenly felt the prick of my conscience that I was no stranger to.  God, these words are written black, not red! I thought. Besides, I am trying to study for a test, not be tested by You.  God didn't listen.  As I have learned, He does not provide conviction at convenience.  I put down my pencil and reflected on my own shortcomings.  I had been moping around the house all that week with a cavalier attitude.  I had made a sacrifice for others and was having to forfeit my own plans on their behalf.  The gift was given willingly, no one forced me to do it but when it came to giving it up, I didn't want to let it go.  My offering was not made directly to God and yet I was treating Him as if He owed me restitution for a tithe as recorded in Malachi 3:10-11, when the Lord promises,"'Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,' says the Lord Almighty."  (NIV)

 My mind then turned to a different passage from Luke chapter 21:1-4 when Jesus saw the gifts of the rich but chose to acknowledge the offering of the widow.  In the last verses of Luke 20, Jesus touches on the authenticity of actions beginning in verse 45.  "Then, in the hearing of all the people, He said to His disciples, 'Beware of the scribes, who desire to go around in long robes, love greetings in the marketplaces, the best seats in the synagogues, and the best places at feasts, who devour widows" houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.'"  There may be a chapter break in this section, but God is making the same point.  The focus is less on the amount and more on the attitude.  

I have read this passage before and noted that the treasury was public place for the rich to pour in money ostentatiously but I had never really considered the humility of the widow.  We don't know much about her but in the word "widow" we find two significant cultural offenses.  Being an unmarried woman would have reduced her to a plight of society.  Reexamining this passage makes me wonder, why didn't she wait?  She only opened herself up to ridicule.  I believe it's because her need for internal glorification was greater than her desire for outward gratification.  She trusted that, although she didn't have much, God could still use her offering. 

My sacrifice was more like that of the scribes and the rich than the widows.  The deeds that I had done, even in His name, had come from a heart full of the wrong reasons.  Like the rich, I knew how to outwardly look good.  I'd say to my Christian friends, "Look at what what God is doing through ME."  While I may have put God first in the sentence, the emphasis in my heart was still on me.  The people that I sacrificed for had received the gift, oblivious to my selfishness.  I prayed that God could still use what I had given to the benefit of others.  

 So today are you a cavalier or do you have a cavalier heart? Because the word, like good deeds, is the same but it is the context that makes all the difference.
 -Kelli

The Hill You Die On - Guest post from Ashton

The other day I was talking minor points of theology with a friend.  He mentioned a belief he has and then said, "But that's not a hill I'm willing to die on."  I had never heard anyone say that so it stuck with me.

Then, I saw a friend's post on Facebook. It was a good post - deep, personal, and moving.  But someone else had commented and absolutely murdered the person over a detail that wasn't even particularly relevant to the post.  It made me angry, and I pondered why someone would think that kind of angry, venomous response was appropriate.  They made a mountain out of a non-existent mole-hill.

Later, I was doing some class work and came across some very opinionated statements that I disagreed with, most strongly.  So I dashed off (more like deliberated over) a very thoughtful and carefully written post that would set the record straight and, simultaneously, show the professor where I stood and how clever I was. (Ha.)  But before I posted it I showed it to mom, who essentially told me I was making a mountain out of a mole-hill.  So I decided to wait and post it when I was less...passionate about it.  But waiting to post the response didn't stop me from thinking about it.  And suddenly everything hit me.  Was I just trying to make a point?  Did I just want to prove I was right?  Did I want to sound like the person on Facebook, blasting someone out of the water for a trivial detail?  Did this really matter?  Was this a hill I was willing to die on?

Now, I would venture to guess that we all come across things we disagree with or dislike.  We may even come across things that make our blood boil.  And in response, we don our armor and rush into battle.  I know I am guilty, and you probably are, too.

So allow me to humbly suggest a few things.

1. When you feel yourself disagreeing or getting angry, ask yourself, "Is this a hill I am willing to die on?"  Is what you are upset about such a big deal in the eternal scheme of things?  Are you literally, I mean literally, willing to die over that issue?

2. Don't assume they meant it like you took it.  The written word can be hard to accurately interpret.

3. If it is a hill you are willing to die on, is it something you would say to that person in person, out loud, while looking them in the eyes?  If it is, then you should probably say it to that person in person, out loud, while looking them in the eyes, not on Facebook or on a blog.

4. If you must say it, make sure it conforms to 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect" (NIV, emphasis mine)

I don't know about you, but I can't think of all that many hills I am willing to die on.  I realized that the issue I had written the post about to my professor wasn't one of them.  So the next time you dash off a snarky, I mean, well written and thoughtful post or comment, stop and ask yourself, "Is this a hill I'm willing to die on?"

                   

You Are Never Too Young to Help

Being a helper is not necessarily a natural born talent.  In our family, we believe that it takes time and training to encourage children to be helpers.  They all want to please, they just don't all want to help.

The answer for us- chores, starting at a pretty young age.  Not to get money.  Not to be a punishment.

  But simply because you are a part of the team and you are expected to learn to help others.

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Today I am guest blogging for Jen over at Chestnut Grove Academy.  I would love for you to pop over to read the rest of the story!