Parenting- 14 Principles for Gospel Parenting- Book Review & Giveaway!

I have done some pretty hard things in my life.  But I must admit, parenting is by far the hardest. Parenting four- well, even harder.

Our littlest blessing

Each of our four kiddos are so very different.  We have a typical first born- very deep and introspective, type A, perfectionist.  Then we have our second daughter- a people pleaser, laid back, easy personality who loves almost everyone.  Then we have our two boys.  The first has been pretty easy to raise, sweet spirited and has a happy, even-keel look at life.  Our youngest is our challenge- loving and very loved, but passionate and hot tempered to a fault sometimes.

What worked for one does not work for the other.  Just when we felt like had the parenting thing mastered, God would throw us another curveball.  I mean blessing.

Each time we would regroup, read another best-selling book, and change our style to fit that particular child.

It is exhausting at times.  Ok, exhausting a lot!

But some things never change.

Like the Word of God and His desires for us and our children.  And the Gospel story.  The only magic formula or best selling book for parenting is His Word.  I am convinced of this!

So what does Mr. Paul David Tripp, Christian author and speaker, offer to parents looking for answers in his new book,  Parenting- 14 Godly Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family?

This is not a typical how-to parenting book.  It is a "why do we" parenting book.  While at times I just want someone to tell me what to do (you know- make it easy for me), this book points back to Jesus and the whys of what I need to do.  It is challenging and convicting, and it points back to our need for God in everything it says.  It points back to the Gospel time and time again. A refreshing read for sure!

Chapters include:

• Calling
• Grace
• Law
• Inability
• Identity
• Process
• Lost
• Authority
• Foolishness
• Character
• False Gods
• Control
• Rest 
• Mercy

Let me share a few take aways that I have been pondering since reading this book.

In the chapter on Calling, one of the questions Mr. Tripp asks is, "Do ministry decisions and commitments make it hard for you to faithfully do your work as a parent?"  Ouch!  Whether ministry or just commitments in general, I KNOW we must choose carefully where we spend our time.  We can get so busy doing good things, that we forget to do the best things.  It is a challenge I want to be very aware of!

The Inability chapter was another convicting one for me.  Listen to this- "God has given you authority for the work of change, but has not granted you the power to make that change happen." (p.61)  I love how Mr. Tripp reminds his readers that we can scare or reward our children into right behavior temporarily, but only God can truly change their hearts.  As silly as it sounds, it takes a little pressure off me.  I know that until a child's, or my, heart is changed into God's image, our behavior will never change.  We are just not able on our own.

From the reminders that our children misbehave because they are lost, foolish, and lack character, to the hope that they will change with God's grace, each page of this 209 page book is filled with Godly insight and encouragement.  I appreciate Mr. Tripp's honesty in his own failings as a parent and his honest questions to get you thinking about how you view your parenting and how you could improve.

If you are looking to make changes in your parenting and want to make the Gospel the center of your life and your child's, Parenting- 14 Godly Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family is a book you need in your hands!

Fly By Productions has graciously agreed to give one of our readers a copy of  Parenting- 14 Godly Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family.  Just leave me a comment and tell me how many kiddos you have and a random winner will be chosen next Thursday!

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255:  “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”):  Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway.  Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation.  I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway.  If you have won a prize from our sponsor Propeller /FlyBy Promotions in the last 30 days, you are not eligible to win.  Or if you have won the same prize on another blog, you are not eligible to win it again.  Winner is subject to eligibility verification.

Blessings,

Pitchin' a Fit- Thoughts on My Parenting These Days and Review

I have had the pleasure of reviewing the book Full Time Parenting written by Israel Wayne before so when I saw that he and his lovely wife Brook had written a book together, I jumped at the chance to review it.  As parents of 9 children and fellow Christians,  I knew they would be coming from a similar background as we do in parenting and was eager to hear what hey had to say!

Pitchin' a Fit, yes, I have kids that do that occasionally, and I could always use some advice.  It takes a village, right?

And then I began the book.

Guess what?

That whole Pitchin' a Fit thing?  They were talking about me, well, parents.

Hey!  How did they know???

Guess I should have paid more attention to the subtitle- Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting

THAT was not what I wanted to read.  I wanted the Waynes to tell me how to control my kiddos, not myself.

I mean, I am in control.  Most of the time.  Until someone makes me mad.

Ugh, OK, fine, I needed this book.

Raising my first three kids, I would tell you, and I think so would others, that I was a very patient person.  I corrected with quiet patience, I reacted slowly and deliberately, and I used words of love and confirmation.  Together, my husband and I even taught parenting classes on how to do the same.

Whether my age is to blame, or one strong will child is, who knows, but let's just say times have changed.  There are times, shhhh, don't tell, that I find myself not being the parent I used to be or even the parent I would like to be.  My tolerance level is lower and my threshold for anger is higher.

Pitchin' a Fit is easy to do!

Yep, this book was timely and helpful!

In 12 short but thorough chapters Israel and Brooke talk about anger, where it comes from, and how we are to better handle it.  With multiple scripture to back their every thought, it is enlightening and convicting.  Don't 'ya just hate when that happens!  By first looking at anger, the Waynes guide their readers to see where it fits rightly, or not, into our lives as well as helping figure out what triggers it in our own lives.

Chapters include-
Stressed Out and Overwhelmed
Is It wrong to Get Angry
What Causes Anger?
Provoking Our Children to Wrath
Trigger Happy- What Sets You Off
Yelling Moms, Hollering Dads
"But I'm Not Patient
What Patience IS and Isn't
Nurturing in the Heart of Correction
The Power of Affirmation
Creating Peace in the Home
Accountability


I believe that God can and will use anything to get our attention, and I believe that this book is just one of the things He has used lately to grab mine.

"It is appropriate to feel, and properly express anger when we see genuine sin and injustice, but we must ensure that we are under the control of the Holy Spirit and not resort to our own sinful and fleshly tactics." (page 39)  I don't know about you but I am pretty sure my sinful, fleshly tactics get me in a lot of trouble and a lot of anger matches with my youngest.  It was a good reminder, one I need daily,  May I rely on the Holy Spirit to parent, and not my own (very lacking) skills and knowledge.

"A peaceful home doesn't happen overnight.  Anytime you have two humans together there is potential for conflict,"  (p.144) Yes, and amen!  But the good news is there is hope.  Israel and Brooke will give you that and so much more in this book- read, soak it in, and find peace in your parenting.  It is possible!

With God- all things are possible!

Blessings,

About Israel Wayne

Israel Wayne is a homeschool graduate and father of eight who is passionate about defending the Christian faith and developing a Biblical worldview. He is a popular conference speaker who desires to see God’s people learn to think and live Biblically.

Lessons from the Closet

Can I just be honest and admit to you that last year was one of my scariest years of parenting?  I mean, I was parenting a 13 year old boy, ALONE!  Ahhhh, the responsibility.  There were more than several times I thought I would have to put him in a box and ship him to his father.  Not for anything he had done, but just because I felt so inept at parenting a teen boy.

Oh, how I am glad that year is over.  And oh how thankful I am he has a father that invests daily into the lives of he and his brother.

But hey, I have also discovered a little secret that may be what I was missing last year.

Dad parents him in the closet.

No really, stay with me here.

It is a phenomena that I have just recently noticed.

You see, more than several times in the past few months I have wandered past our master closet to hear voices coming from it.  And every time I check to see what is going on in there without me the conversation seems to lull.  No mistake about it though, my husband and one of the boys would be chatting in the closet.

I was starting to take things a little personally until I caught wind of snippets of the conversations.  Moms are stealthy like that, you know! ;)

The truth I learned- there were a lot of lessons being taught in that closet time.

Simple lessons like-

What color socks to wear with church pants.

Which side your belt goes into the loops of your pants.

No, that shirt does not match your pants.

Or a few deeper ones-

When you are disrespectful to you mom, you are disrespectful to me.

A repentant heart is a heart that makes a change.


See, not necessarily things I am incapable of teaching, but rather things that just seem to mean more when coming from a father or father figure.

We need the men in our lives to step up and take an active role in the lives of our children.  We need the men of this country to invest in the younger generation of men we are raising up to be leaders. While mommies are so important and have their own wealth of information to share, I am thankful that there are men able and willing to guide the young men in our lives.

The first being their father.  He is pretty special indeed!

Linking up with friends-

Blessings,

What Motivates Your Child?- Book Review

Have you noticed that some stages of parenting are easier than others?  I mean, I know that they all have their challenges, but really, I have found that some stages are just harder for me than others.   Like the one I am in now.  You know - the "yes, I want to do that, no, I do not want to do that, you are not nice, I am running away tomorrow, I do not like you, I am not listening to you, no, the sky is not blue, it is red and green polka dot" stage.  Anyone else there?

OK, it may not be that bad everyday, but we are getting close.  Add to that a strong-willed, spicy, adopted child with a Latino personality whose dad is currently deployed, and let's just say I am being challenged.  A lot.  And I feel like I am at a breaking point.  His AND mine!

So, when the opportunity arose to be a part of the book launch team for Motivate Your Child, A Christian Parent's Guide to Raising Kids Who Do What They Need to Do Without Being Told, I may just have begged to be a part of it.  Ok, I begged. Thank you National Center for Biblical Parenting!

Written by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, Motivate Your Child is 254 pages of parenting wisdom.  Based on scriptural doctrine and years of experience between the authors, it focuses on the concept of internal motivation.  Part 1 discusses the Moral Development in Children and Part 2 discusses Spiritual Development in Children.  21 chapters are packed with discussions, ideas, and sound advice.

What motivates my child?  Right now, I am pretty sure it is NOT internally generated.  Both in the younger child and olders alike at times.  Everyone is good at doing what they are asked to do.  Well, most everyone.  But Dr. Turansky and Mrs. Miller contend that a parent's objective should be to teach a child to recognize needs on their own and be internally motivated to react. Not to simply obey when told or asked.  Mom and dad will not always be around to tell them what to do, when to do it, or how to do it.  They need to be able to get to those things on their own eventually.

This is where the Holy Spirit, scripture, a good plan, and even a guilty conscious come into play. Yes, even a guilty conscious is a good thing sometimes.

One of the things I love about Motivate Your Child is that it is full of real life examples and the recommended solution.  Not just a "you should do this" solution, but a very specific "this is how you can word it" solution.  Complete with Biblical examples.  I am a detail person.  This book gives the details I need.

I am willing to bet you will like the details as well.

Let me give you an example.  One of the things the authors discuss is what to do after a child has done something wrong.  Trust me, I perked up my ears quickly because I have one that likes to throw out a quick "I am sorry, do you forgive me?" and then think all is well with the world.  Instead, the authors recommend working through the following with your child after an offense-

  -Confession - what did I do wrong?
  -Getting to the heart - why was that wrong?
  -Developing a plan for next time - what am I going to do differently next time?

Consider this-

"Repentance isn't just stopping something.  It's a 180-degree turn, choosing to do something right instead." -page 69

YES!  That is what I have been trying to say, but not as well.  I want my child to not only know what he or she did wrong and not do it again, but why they should not do it again!  And how to not do it again.

Have we perfected it?  Not by a long shot.  Remember, strong-willed, yada, yada, yada.

But we are working on it.

"When a child acts out and does the wrong thing, it's because emotions or desires become stronger than convictions and character.  All these things are in the heart.  Much of the work of parenting is identifying what heart quality needs development and then practicing it to increase internal strength." -page 56

So that's where we land right now.  Heart parenting.  A whole lot of practicing, but at least I feel like things are not hopeless.  I feel better equipped.

And I hope that you, too, will feel better equipped as a parent after reading Motivating Your Child! Yesterday was the official release day and already the book is leaping to the top of the charts. For good reason!  If you order by the end of the month you can still take advantage of the FREE resources being offered.  You can also enter our amazing team giveaway for your chance to win a Go Pro camera and more.  Today is the last day, so don't wait on that one!

Whether you are a new parent just starting out or one with teens AND toddlers in tow, Motivate Your Child is a book you need on your shelf.  I highly recommend it!

Blessings,

Parenting Through the Ages

One minute it is blocks and dress up with the 6 year old.  The next it is all things Nerf with the 6th grader. Then high school transcripts and musicals with the 16 year old. The next minute it is college and life plans with the college junior.  Mind spinning yet?

Sometimes mine does!  It is a challenge to parent through the ages, but we have found a few tricks that work.

Join me as I guest blog today for Sarah and her Mom 2 Mom Mondays series for the rest of the story...