The Road to Adoption

Lat week we celebrated this guy's Happy Home Day.

Yep, 7 years ago we stepped off a plane in Texas and Colby Jose became an American citizen.  He was our son from the moment we laid eyes on his picture 17 months prior.

We got his referral when he was 4 months old and brought him home when he was 21 months old.  Yes, it took 17 months to get that boy home.  It was a rough and crazy ride.

As I quickly told our story to a friend yesterday, I realized how much of the story I feel like I have forgotten.  Maybe that is God's way of protecting your heart and not allowing bitterness to take root. Maybe it is a way of wiping the slate clean and starting over new.  Or maybe I am just old and my memory has gone to pot.  You never know.

But a few things, I do remember!

I wanted to adopt for forever.  I was pretty open about it to others and pretty obnoxious about it to my husband.  He'll agree.  Like I would print out pictures of waiting babies and leave them on his paperwork to find.  Subtle I am not.  He would ignore me or simply shake his head no.  Fast forward a few years, or FOREVER according to me, and he got deployed to Africa, God got a hold of his heart, and he called me one day and asked if I still wanted to adopt!  Seriously.  God's timing, not mine!

I remember the first time we saw a picture of this baby!  He was 4 months old and we could not have loved anyone more.

 I remember the first time we saw an actual video of him!  Our adoption counselor got to go to Guatemala and see him, taking some things down from us.  We watched that video over and over again, just trying to take it all in.  I will forever be grateful for Laura and our agency and for the love they showed us and Colby!

I remember living on the computer for 17 months waiting for any information and pictures we could get.  Yes, I watched our son grow up via the computer for 17 very long and painful months,

I remember the first time Jorgelina, his amazing foster mom, put him in my arms.  I thought I would never be able to let him go.  Turns out we had to say goodbye to him twice before finally bringing him home on our third trip to Guatemala.

I remember the other kids seeing their brother for the very first time.  Salem could not stop touching his sweet face, Riley could not stop grinning, and Ashton started crying every time she looked at him or tried to open her mouth.

I remember our last plane ride to bring him home.  I was sick the entire trip and he was perfect and slept almost the entire plane ride.  That, my friends, is God's grace!

I remember looking in the back of our car on February 25th and seeing his sweet face peeking out of a huge winter coat and in a car seat for the first time and thinking, oh my word, he is FINALLY home.

Finally and forever!  God's perfect timing in God's perfect plan!

Just another cute picture! ;)

Oh how we love this boy!

Happy Home Day, Colby Jose! 7 years and counting to forever!

Linking up with Caroline!

Blessings,

Wordless Wednesday! (mostly)

Happy Home Day Colby!  6 years ago today we were blessed to bring this little man home.  Every day is an adventure!  We are so very thankful to God, his foster mom who raised him for the first 21 months of his life, and to CJ's birth mom for choosing life and allowing us to make him a part of our family.

Linking up with some friends-

Our Life at Home

Blessings,

Navigating the Explosion- You are Not Alone- Book review

You know by now I have a heart for adoption, right?  And fostering- well, those mommas have my utmost respect.  And prayers.

And trust me, they need them.  So do I.

Adoption and fostering are beautiful in every sense of the word.  But they are also hard. And messy. And lonely.

Did I mention lonely?

Friends, family and neighbors welcome your child home, shower you with gifts and then close the door and walk back into a seemingly fairy-tale world to you, never knowing what is really going on behind those doors behind them.  It is not a fairy-tale, trust me.

For that very reason I was thrilled to be able to be a part of the launch team for the book Navigating the Explosion- You are not Alone, written by Allison Schumm, mom of 14.  The synopsis- This book takes the adoptive Mother through the adoption process and life afterwards with encouraging letters from mom's who have been there.

And that is just what an adoptive or foster mom needs- reassurance that someone else has been there, done that and UNDERSTANDS!  That they are not alone.  

Through 6 chapters and a series of letters from fellow adoptive and foster moms, Allison takes you on a journey of what adoption and fostering looks like through the eyes of moms that HAVE indeed been there and done that.  Though every story may differ from yours or someone you know, they do give a glimpse into the sometimes very lonely world of adoption and fostering.  Luckily they also show the joy and hope that can be found.

Chapters include-

• The Call
• The Wait
• The Honeymoon
• The Groove
• The Future
• The Others

Let me just warn you- grab a tissue.  While you are up, just go on and grab the box.  You will need it.  
Maybe it is just because I have walked that path, or maybe it is just that my heart is so sensitive to the warriors who have been called by God to foster and adopt, but I shed many tears on the pages while reading.  I nodded my head, whispered amen and breathed a sigh a relief that I was not the only one that felt that or said that or thought that.  It was like sitting down to tea with a friend who just understood my heart without me saying a word and it felt good.  For me, who is 5 years post adoption (and a messy 17 month process at that) it was healing.

I needed to be healed.  

I know many who do.

And so I thank and praise Allison for seeing the need and filling it by writing this precious book.

Even if you are not on the adoption and fostering road but know someone who is, I encourage to read Navigating the Explosion- You are not Alone.  I have no doubt that you will come away with a better understanding of your friend in the trenches and it will make you a better friend.

What we do not understand, we so often blow off as trivial or untrue.  Allow these letters to show you that neither are true.  There are mommas out there in the fight of their lives for the hearts and souls of the lost and hurt and forgotten.  There are mommas out there that need a hug and a smile after their child tells them they hate them.  There are mommas out there that need a break from the action after a terror induced tantrum happens.

Luckily, there are mommas out there that understand.  Will you be one of them?

Thank you Allison for your love of children and their mommas in the storm.  Thank you for this book.  
You have won my heart and deepest respect!

Blessings, 


You can buy a copy of Navigating The Explosion- You are Not Alone on Allison's Etsy site for $4.99!

About Allison- Allison is a busy mom of 14 beautiful blessings ranging from 18 to 1 year old. She married her knight in shining armor in of May 2004 and they started the first step in their adoption journey in the end of 2005 just 18 months after they were married. Jonathan and Allison are vocal advocates for adoption, they believe that God places the lonely in families and keeping siblings together is the best.

You can connect with Allison here-

www.schummexplosion.blogspot.com

www.facebook.com/schummexplosion

www.twitter.com/schummexplosion

www.pinterest.com/adoptedtwice

https://plus.google.com/+AllisonSchumm/posts

Home four years. Happy Home Day, CJ!

Happy Home Day, Son!

Yes, it has been four years since our sweet boy joined our family.  Four years since we traveled from Guatemala and landed in Houston with a new US citizen, and then on to Wyoming.

For those who don't know our story, here is a short version.  I wanted to adopt for years.  Longed for it really.  My husband did not.  Yep, no longing.  So for years I would bring it up occasionally, show him a few pictures of the beautiful orphans waiting for families, and he would reply, "if God wants us to adopt he will have to sky write for me."

A few months would go by, OK, maybe a few weeks, and I would bring it up again.  Him- same answer, waiting for the sky writing.

It went that way for years.

Then, God did a little sky writing.  He can use anything, right?  This time he used the military and sent my husband to Africa for 7 months unexpectedly.

And a few weeks into that adventure my sweet, wonderful, loving husband called and asked if I still wanted to adopt.  Ummm, YES!

If you asked him what changed, he can't really seem to  say, but obviously God changed his heart.

Fast forward many months and this is the referral we got...

3 days old

 

4 months old at referral

How could you not just fall in love with that sweet baby?!

God's timing is always best, but I will tell you that after waiting for years to get a yes from my hubby, waiting another 17 months to bring our son home was hard.  Very hard.  Extremely hard.

But he did come home...four years ago today.  And we were blessed beyond measure.

This kid brings me laughter.
And love.
And the sweetest kisses.
And sometimes challenges beyond belief.  ;)

But mostly he brings me the reminder that God is faithful, that He loves us, that He wants the best for us and that He loves the orphans of this world.

So do we.  We are called to.

James 1:27- Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress..."

Fun Friday- Read Aloud Edition and a Giveaway!

Happy Fun Friday!  Don't you just love the start of a weekend?  For me, the excitement starts on Thursday after lunch.  We are done with co-op then and I come home and breathe a sigh of relief.  No more things we have to do, just one more day of school (which is often a lighter schedule), and then time centered around family.  LOVE IT!

Anyway...

I am excited to share with you this week our newest read-aloud.  This one came to us by surprise, as I was asked to review it by an outside source.  So exciting!


The Reunion, written by Rachael McIntire, and published by Elisha Press, is a lovely little book written in response to the author's need to find good, quality books to read to her own children.  It's subtitled- "A story of redemption for the whole family to enjoy together."

Indeed it is.  The book begins with a four year old little girl desperately praying for a little sister and unfolds with how God hears and answers her prayers.  Throughout the book we see the faith of a little child grow steadily into the faith of a pre-teen in such a natural way, guided by the deep love of her family.  Dotted with good manners, moral situations and a sweet old-fashioned simpleness, we were delighted to be able to read this together.  Some of the chapters are quite short, making reading several at one time completely do-able.  That and the fact that the boys often wanted to know what would happen next!

Because this book is centered around the world of adoption, it is now dear to our hearts.   It is hard for us to finds books about adoption that are done well.  Often incorrect terms are used, families seem to be "saving" a child, or they are just downright hurtful. The one time I did have a concern was with the use of the term "real" parents in reference to biological parents.  This may just be a case of us being sensitive to politically correct wording because we are an adoptive family, but we encourage the use of "birth" parents as opposed to "real".  Real implies to me that I am fake.  Otherwise, the loving way that Rachael approached adoption as a gift warmed my heart and I think really pulled in our 5 year old adopted son.  More than once he said "just like me" with such excitement.

After each reading time we spent a few minutes talking about the characters and what they said or did that really stood out in our minds.  Some of my favorites were the kids noticing how naturally the family prayed together, that the parents were kind to their children and the children were well mannered, without seeming fake.  Because two families are highlighted, one Christian one not, it was an opportunity for us to discuss how each handled situations that arose and what our family would have done in a similar situation.  Our favorite line was, "Julie, you need Jesus in your heart!" (page 19)  We giggled at that response and had fun imagining how someone would react if that was our response to one who offended us. 

The other discussions we had were about the meaning of words.  Some were from public school references, so the usage was lost on my youngest especially.  Other times, we had to discuss meanings of some of the vocabulary used, therefore I would say that this book is written for slightly older elementary children and up if it is going to be read solely by the child.  For us, it provided a good opportunity to discuss some new words and ideas.

Good read alouds equal good conversations!  And The Reunion was  a book that sparked many conversations among our family.  I pray it will do the same for you!

As a bonus for Family, Faith and Friday readers, the publisher has offered a special code for $2.00 off your purchase of The Reunion through the end of February.  After that the code will be good for $1.00 off.  Please type in REVIEW-FRIDAYS when ordering to take advantage of this gift.

We were also given an extra copy of The Reunion to giveaway to one lucky reader.  Use the rafflecopter below for your chance to win.  This will close next Thursday!

 

a Rafflecopter giveaway

THANK YOU McINTIRE FAMILY for the privilege of reviewing your book!

Adoption 101

How amazing is it that today I had planned on doing a quick post on our adoption and woke up to see a video link on my FB page of CJ when he was still living in Guatemala!  How it brought back so many emotions!  (yes, insert...tears)   A bilingual friend of ours, bilingual thank goodness because some of you all have heard my pitiful attempts at Spanish, lived across the street from where CJ lived, had a son about the same age, happened to take video with him in it occasionally, and then later blessed us by sharing those videos on youtube so we could see glimpses of what we had missed.  Does it make up for 21 months of lost time, nope, but boy did it bless us beyond words!
Did you notice the 21 months part?  Yep, 17 months it took to get that kiddo home in addition to the 4 months before we got his referral.  I could have almost birthed TWO kids by then!  17 months of a lot of whining, crying, stalking email, whining, crying, praying and did I mention whining?  Just ask a few of my closest friends...never mind, don't ask them...it was a pitiful 17 months and I am blessed that most of them still even like me!  Adoption is hard folks!  No matter how your scenario shakes out.  But, oh, how our lives have been blessed by the Lord.

I said let's adopt now...and God said, wait 6 or 7 years
I said domestically...and God said, how 'bout Guatemala
I said anywhere I do not have to travel to...God said how 'bout go three times
I said let's adopt an infant and bring him home fast...God said how 'bout an almost two year old you have to wait 17 months for
I said I want a fancy airport homecoming...God said how 'bout an empty airport
I said I want an easy transition...God said, yeah...right

See where this is going?  I had a lot of great ideas...really, they seemed fine to me, BUT God had another plan, and in hindsight I know that it was a better plan!  But first I had to let go of my ideas, wants and selfish desires and let the Lord work.  And he did, His timing not mine!  Doesn't He do that everyday, if we just let Him.  So friends, as we struggle each day with our hopes and desires, let us gently remind each other..His timing, not ours!  I can now look into the beautiful brown eyes of our youngest and say God's timing is perfect!

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On an adoption topic, if you get a chance, check out itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com to read about another family who is experiencing delays and learning what it means to wait on the Lord! While I do not know Missy personally, I am convinced if we lived closer we would be friends. She has an obvious heart for the Lord, her family and the world of adoption. Her post, I Don't Want My Kids to be Happy, drew me to her site! She has made me laugh, cry and whisper quite a few amens!! Enjoy
(Update 10/22- Missy finally brought that sweet child home.  You should see Bethie now...beautiful!)

Another blog I think you will be forever challenged by is someone I have actually met and am blessed to be friends with.  Laura and her husband have two biological children and four adopted children.  Talk about amazing...see why I think so at bryanandlauraadoption.blogspot.com