The 9 Lies Every College Student Tells - A Guest Post

Hi friends! It’s Riley. Remember me? I did a lot of Mom’s blog graphics before moving to Mississippi for college. I’m majoring in musical theatre and am in my fourth semester. It's going really well :)

However, I was recently home for a break and while I was home I discovered that I was lying to people.  Innocently, of course!

You see, someone would ask me about college and before I even thought about it I would shoot off an answer, regardless if it was true or not.

So today I’ve compiled a list of some lies I’ve told people about college and some ones that I’m sure other college students have told. Consider it a cheat sheet for talking to the college student in your life. You’re welcome!

*Disclaimer: this is mostly tongue in cheek.

*Disclaimer 2: Mostly

1. “My semester was fantastic!”

As I tweeted once, I felt like I finished last semester with three pennies, 17 bruises, and a complete lack of confidence. By the time you make it through the finals and what not you feel like you’ve gotten run over by a Mac truck. No joke.

2. “The cafeteria food is really good!”

Yes, I know it was pretty fantastic when you visited for Parents’ Weekend, but it hasn't been good since then.

3. “I’m not spending all my money on Chick-fil-A!”

See lie number 2.

4. “I never skip classes!”

This one makes me laugh. Pro tip: don’t schedule classes at 8am because if you do you’ll want to skip them. Every. Single. Morning.

5. “I’m staying up late studying!”

I’m actually staying up watching Friends on Netflix, but sometimes I study while I do that. College is all about multitasking!

6. “I haven’t cried in such a long time!”

I cried like three days ago because I thought about the Crocodile Hunter for too long.

7. “I’m making tons of friends outside my major!”

This may be because I’m majoring in theatre, but the only other department I interact with is the music department and that’s just because we share a building.

8. “I’m becoming such an adult!”

Which is why I laid on my floor in a blanket burrito and watched The Lion King and ate cereal right out of the box!

(Note, I’ve never done this but it sounds like a good idea)

9. “I’m getting enough sleep!”

Is anyone ever getting enough sleep?!

OK, OK, mom's turn here! ;)

Yes, I have heard my daughter say several of these things to people, but I can assure you she is not really trying to deceive!   It's kind of like that 'ole "How are you?" "I'm great!" response, when really you are not.  Sometimes it's just easier to give a simple answer and move on.  

Seems college kids are no different.

Except for apparently they do not eat or sleep well, go to the classes you are paying for, or study! 

Don't worry- she's coming home on Sunday for Spring Break- I will have a chat with her! ;)

Blessings, 

The Context of the Heart

During this very busy month a dear friend of ours offered to write a post for the blog, and I hastily took her up on it! We have known her for years and she is a fabulous writer. So, without further ado, here is Kelli!

Earlier this summer, I was in my room studying for the Pharmacy College Admissions test I am preparing to take soon. I opened up my study book to an impossibly long vocabulary list and a section that might as well be entitled, "Memorize the Dictionary Until You are More Literate than Merriam Webster Himself." My eyes wandered down the list.  I came upon the word "cavalier."  It was a word I was already somewhat familiar with.  It was used as the mascot of several small, rural towns as an alternative to the cliché "Roughrider" (a reference to our 26th President who my home state of North Dakota has claimed like a native). Like Roughrider, the word cavalier also conveyed the rugged, cowboy gallantry that had, through history and tradition, become our state's trademark.   After reading the concise definition in my study book, "carefree, happy" but underneath "lordly disdain," the word's complexity prompted me to cross-reference it further using an online dictionary.  I found that cavalier used as a noun referred to a knight or gallant but when used as an adjective it was defined as "haughty" or proud.  The same word acts like its own antonym depending on its part of speech.

 I suddenly felt the prick of my conscience that I was no stranger to.  God, these words are written black, not red! I thought. Besides, I am trying to study for a test, not be tested by You.  God didn't listen.  As I have learned, He does not provide conviction at convenience.  I put down my pencil and reflected on my own shortcomings.  I had been moping around the house all that week with a cavalier attitude.  I had made a sacrifice for others and was having to forfeit my own plans on their behalf.  The gift was given willingly, no one forced me to do it but when it came to giving it up, I didn't want to let it go.  My offering was not made directly to God and yet I was treating Him as if He owed me restitution for a tithe as recorded in Malachi 3:10-11, when the Lord promises,"'Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, 'and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.  I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,' says the Lord Almighty."  (NIV)

 My mind then turned to a different passage from Luke chapter 21:1-4 when Jesus saw the gifts of the rich but chose to acknowledge the offering of the widow.  In the last verses of Luke 20, Jesus touches on the authenticity of actions beginning in verse 45.  "Then, in the hearing of all the people, He said to His disciples, 'Beware of the scribes, who desire to go around in long robes, love greetings in the marketplaces, the best seats in the synagogues, and the best places at feasts, who devour widows" houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. These will receive greater condemnation.'"  There may be a chapter break in this section, but God is making the same point.  The focus is less on the amount and more on the attitude.  

I have read this passage before and noted that the treasury was public place for the rich to pour in money ostentatiously but I had never really considered the humility of the widow.  We don't know much about her but in the word "widow" we find two significant cultural offenses.  Being an unmarried woman would have reduced her to a plight of society.  Reexamining this passage makes me wonder, why didn't she wait?  She only opened herself up to ridicule.  I believe it's because her need for internal glorification was greater than her desire for outward gratification.  She trusted that, although she didn't have much, God could still use her offering. 

My sacrifice was more like that of the scribes and the rich than the widows.  The deeds that I had done, even in His name, had come from a heart full of the wrong reasons.  Like the rich, I knew how to outwardly look good.  I'd say to my Christian friends, "Look at what what God is doing through ME."  While I may have put God first in the sentence, the emphasis in my heart was still on me.  The people that I sacrificed for had received the gift, oblivious to my selfishness.  I prayed that God could still use what I had given to the benefit of others.  

 So today are you a cavalier or do you have a cavalier heart? Because the word, like good deeds, is the same but it is the context that makes all the difference.
 -Kelli

D is for DO ASK!

One of the things I love doing occasionally is guest blogging for friends.  Guys, in case you don't know, there are some super talented bloggers out there and I am privileged to call some of them friends!

One of those friends is Sarah Avila from My Joy Filled Life.  Large family, homeschooling, you name it, her blog has something for you!  Sarah is currently hosting a 26 week series called The ABCs of Homeschooling and I have the privilege of writing for her this week!

Honestly, I could have also named this post "Dumb things people ask homeschooling moms," but I figured that would not be very nice.   I teach my children it is important to be nice, after all.   Which is one of the reasons why I have tried to give nice, well thought out answers to all said questions.

The other reason to give a well thought out and kind answer is that we, as homeschoolers, represent homeschoolers.  By answering people kindly and honestly, we hopefully give homeschoolers a good representation.  And maybe even win a few people over to the dark side! ;)  But trust me, behind every one of those "right" answers is a snarky one just trying to get out.

Maybe you know what I mean...


To read the rest go to My Joy Filled Life!

The Hill You Die On - Guest post from Ashton

The other day I was talking minor points of theology with a friend.  He mentioned a belief he has and then said, "But that's not a hill I'm willing to die on."  I had never heard anyone say that so it stuck with me.

Then, I saw a friend's post on Facebook. It was a good post - deep, personal, and moving.  But someone else had commented and absolutely murdered the person over a detail that wasn't even particularly relevant to the post.  It made me angry, and I pondered why someone would think that kind of angry, venomous response was appropriate.  They made a mountain out of a non-existent mole-hill.

Later, I was doing some class work and came across some very opinionated statements that I disagreed with, most strongly.  So I dashed off (more like deliberated over) a very thoughtful and carefully written post that would set the record straight and, simultaneously, show the professor where I stood and how clever I was. (Ha.)  But before I posted it I showed it to mom, who essentially told me I was making a mountain out of a mole-hill.  So I decided to wait and post it when I was less...passionate about it.  But waiting to post the response didn't stop me from thinking about it.  And suddenly everything hit me.  Was I just trying to make a point?  Did I just want to prove I was right?  Did I want to sound like the person on Facebook, blasting someone out of the water for a trivial detail?  Did this really matter?  Was this a hill I was willing to die on?

Now, I would venture to guess that we all come across things we disagree with or dislike.  We may even come across things that make our blood boil.  And in response, we don our armor and rush into battle.  I know I am guilty, and you probably are, too.

So allow me to humbly suggest a few things.

1. When you feel yourself disagreeing or getting angry, ask yourself, "Is this a hill I am willing to die on?"  Is what you are upset about such a big deal in the eternal scheme of things?  Are you literally, I mean literally, willing to die over that issue?

2. Don't assume they meant it like you took it.  The written word can be hard to accurately interpret.

3. If it is a hill you are willing to die on, is it something you would say to that person in person, out loud, while looking them in the eyes?  If it is, then you should probably say it to that person in person, out loud, while looking them in the eyes, not on Facebook or on a blog.

4. If you must say it, make sure it conforms to 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect" (NIV, emphasis mine)

I don't know about you, but I can't think of all that many hills I am willing to die on.  I realized that the issue I had written the post about to my professor wasn't one of them.  So the next time you dash off a snarky, I mean, well written and thoughtful post or comment, stop and ask yourself, "Is this a hill I'm willing to die on?"

                   

College Transition - Hers, not ours!

Having successfully made it through a semester of college, mom asked me to share some things, mainly what I have learned.  So here goes.

1. The first week is the hardest.  If you can make it through the first week, you can make it.  Trust me.

2. Take pictures of things you want to remember on your phone.  Seriously, this works for anyone, not just college students.  eg. I have no idea when the library is open, but I do have a picture of the hours in my phone.

3. Sometimes you have to find a "paper place" (Or a reading place.  Or a devotion time place).  I cannot write long papers in my room, even when it is quiet.  Just doesn't work.  I'm not sure why.  But sitting in my dorm lobby, at that table (see it down there, with all my paper writing essentials (junk) on it?), there I could write papers.  (I think I took this picture in the throes of writing a very long counseling paper.  Note the earplugs and gum wrapper, both essential items for sure.)

4. Speaking of papers, parents - please make sure your child is familiar with the basic paper formats such as (but not limited to) (linked for your viewing convenience) (Don't you just love parenthesis?)  MLA, APA, Chicago(Turabian), etc.  Prospective college students, try to figure out what paper style your college or department uses, and practice writing in it.  That just didn't occur to me so I only learned to write in MLA.  Well, the Bible department at my school uses Turabian, not MLA.  Guess who had to learn to write in Turabian?  Right, me.  Trust me, it is much easier to learn a paper style before you use it rather than as you attempt to use it.  (Hey! Hey, Turabian is cool because you use footnotes.  And footnotes take up room.  So a six page paper becomes more like a 4 page paper once you have footnotes. Just sayin.)

5. Keep your stuff clean.  This applies to everyone, but especially college students and siblings who share rooms.  Makes life easier.  And cleaner.  You don't have to be a minimalist (not that I am or anything -cough- sarcasm) but get rid of what you don't like/don't want/don't use/don't wear.  (Just don't get rid of what your roommate doesn't like/doesn't want/doesn't use/doesn't wear.  I can't see that going over too well.)  Hang up your clothes.  Put your shoes in a basket or one pile.  Stack papers, gather up your books, and make your bed.

See, isn't that clean looking? -->

Just kidding, that was my closet before I put my stuff in it. =) 

6. As tempting as it is to go out and buy twenty million coordinating (did you know that word used to be spelled and pronounced "co-ordinating"? Seriously, we now say it like there is a W in there but it used to be two separate sounds. Sorry, bunny trail there.) Anyway, don't buy twenty million co-ordinating items for your dorm room.  Use what you have and, if you can, wait to get to college and then make a run to the store with the large blue sign.  There is no need to have a bath mat if your roommate has one.  Same things applies to an iron, curtains, lamps, Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera.  (name that movie)

7. Be creative.  I have a top bunk, and consequently, no bed side table.  So, he who shall not be named (my dad) suggested I hang a shower caddy on the wall.  It works perfectly!  It holds my Bible, chapstick and odd accouterments perfectly.  'Tis cool.  I thought I had a picture...but I don't.  So you will have to take my word for it.

 

Imagine a cool picture of my bedside thing here. 

8. Take time.  I took both of the photos below on two different days while walking back to my dorm.  Are they gorgeous photos?  Nope.  They are from my phone.  But they were things I noticed when I slowed down for a minute and looked around.  Otherwise I would have missed a gorgeous sunset and how the light perfectly outlined the tree.

9. Sit in the front in classes, and preferably slightly to the right or left.  If you sit in the front you can see and hear better and the professor will be more familiar with you and thus more willing to help you out if you need it.  Sit to the side so you have a diagonal view and can see the professor and white board/screen, instead of staring at the person's head in front of you.

10. I miss my family.  Still.  But that is ok.  Missing means loving!  And while I love college and have fun and learn while I am there, I would still rather be home.  And that is ok too.  (This is where I would insert a fancy, out of context verse about home or something, but I don't have one.  Sorry.  Feel free to insert your favorite verse here.)

11. There isn't an 11, I just wanted you to thank you all for praying for me and for reading my mom's fabulous blog! =)
             Blessings, ALP

shhhh, don't tell Mom!

Since Mom is unavailable I've hijacked the blog I'm going to do a guest post for dessert.
I've decided to keep with the chocolate theme this Friday.
This recipe is perfect for when you need, I mean need, chocolate cake, but you don't want to make a whole cake that you would have to share. So make a mini chocolate cake, in a mug. (I found the recipe on a blog, but I didn't write it down unfortunately....)

Emergency Chocolate Cake
2 Tbs cake (or regular) flour
2 Tbs sugar
2 rounded tsp cocoa powder
1/4 tsp baking powder
a pinch of salt
2 Tbs mil
2 tsp oil
1/2 tsp vanilla
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Coat inside of a mug with nonstick cooking spray. Mix all ingredients until smooth. Add chocolate chips of nuts if desired. Microwave for 1 minute.
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It's easy and quick. And it's chocolate, which covers a multitude of sins ;)
Enjoy your Friday!!

written by daughter #2- R