Parenting is Heart Work - Book Review

The National Center for Biblical Parenting is all about encouraging and equipping parents to raise their children with sound biblical principles.  By shaping and training the heart rather than just changing behaviors, this group allows parents to mold their children and point them to the cross.

One of the latest projects for The National Center for Biblical Parenting (NCBP) is the Parent Training Center Initiative. By teaming up with The National Center for Biblical Parenting, churches across the country can commit to becoming Parent Training Centers, coming alongside parents to support them and provide biblical resources for them. Once a church has committed to becoming a Training Center several things will happen.

First, the church must learn and agree with the theology behind the program.  Next, they will identify key leaders who will become parent resource people.  Those leaders will establish communication with and identify interested parents within their church and community. The NCBP will come alongside the church providing resources, email tips, mentoring, online support, and live seminars.  The cost to become a Parent Training Center is $200.00 for the first year and $100.00 each additional year, with many resources included!

One of the resources used by NCBP and Parent Training Centers is the book Parenting is Heart Work and their newest addition, Parenting is Heart Work Training Manual.  Just like the other books I have had the privilege of reading and using in our own family, Parenting is Heart Work is changing the way we parent.  Written by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, this book helps you see the need for reaching and changing the heart of your child, not just their behavior.

We have used rewards and consequences for years in our parenting and yes, it often works.  But what we have seen is that as kids get older, that type of discipline is just not as effective anymore.

 "If behavior modification is the focus...determined children learn to get what they want." p.57

It is easy for a child who is standing next to you choose the right behavior when you are there to monitor them or, even more so, when they think they will get something for their right choices. However, the trick is, will they make that same right choice without mom and dad standing by?  Do they have in their heart the right motives it will take to choose right from wrong?  Have they learned to follow the Holy Spirit's leading rather than just the voice of mom and dad?

That is where Parenting is Heart Work can help you!  In 4 parts and broken into 16 chapters, Dr. Turansky and Mrs. Miller will lay the foundations of their book and then teach you many techniques to help change the way you parent.  One of the things I love best about this book are the many examples given of real families who face the same challenges we do.  Oh, how nice to know you are not alone in the parenting trenches!  Paired with Scripture, stories from the Bible will give you confidence and equip you to become a better parent.  It will help you look at not just your child's behavior, but the heart behind those behaviors and allow you to speak truth into their lives.  Each of the four sections begins begins with a story from the Bible and each chapter ends with a prayer to help you focus on the work at hand!

Sections include-
Understanding the Heart
Connecting With Your Child's Heart
Working Out Heart Change
Touching Your Child's Heart

Personally, I have gathered a lot of new information from this book and am slowly incorporating it into how I deal with our children, especially our youngest.  One of my favorite concepts is that of a "break," rather than a time out.  It is a time of reflection rather than of punishment.  By telling my son "you need to take a break and change your heart and then come back to me when you are ready" we have had a positive change in the way we communicate. It also gives us both a time to cool off and regroup.  Once he chooses to return from his break we discuss what he did wrong, why it was wrong, and what he can do differently the next time.  I had some resistance as we began this new interaction, but he is slowly getting the message that I mean business and starting to better be able to process and take responsibility for his own actions.  We end with a "go ahead and try again" and a hug which I think makes him feel empowered, something that is important for his strong will personality.

I think Dr. Turansky and Mrs. Miller say it perfectly-

"There's much at stake in raising children.  When we take a heart approach to parenting, we partner with God in raising a future generation." p.15

I can't think of a better partner, can you?

Blessings,

Parent Training Center Giveaway for Churches

You may have already seen that I have partnered up with The National Center for Biblical Parenting again and am currently reading and reviewing their book, Parenting is Heart Work.  Like the other other resources I have reviewed for them, The Family Toolbox and  Motivate Your Child, and Motivate Your Child Action Plan,  Parenting is Heart Work is filled with biblical references and examples to help you parent based on God's standard rather than the worlds.  Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN  have worked hard to help you reach the heart of your child rather than base all of your discipline off behavior modification.  In doing so we are training our children to use their conscious to guide their lives, rather than external stimuli.  It is an amazing concept, and one that is slowly changing the way we parent in our home.  Now the National Center for Biblical Parenting is working on partnering up with churches to help get this invaluable information into the hands of even more parents through local churches.

A Parent Training Center is a church that intentionally trains parents, providing resources and tools both for discipleship of believers and for evangelism to families in the community.

The National Center for Biblical Parenting offers resources, and practical support to help you become the Parent Training Center God designed. The Equipping Program contains a number of mobilization tools to help you advance to the next level in your parent discipleship ministry.

With this program you'll interact with experts as well as other pastors and church leaders. Receive personalized guidance for your unique church situations. Use resources that will equip your parents to reach their children's hearts.

 To introduce your church to the Parent Training Center concept, we are hosting an awesome giveaway that includes some of our best church and parent training resources, along with a $100 gift certificate to the National Center for Biblical Parenting store. Here's what your church could win: 

Parenting Is Heart Work DVD Church Kit ($199.95 value)

Equip parents to touch the hearts of their kids with this biblically-based, practical training program. Parents and teachers of children 2-18 years will benefit from this life-changing curriculum. The Parenting is Heart Work Church Kit includes: • Eight 35-minute video sessions • A Leader's Guide with reproducible pages for attendees • A copy of the 256 page book Parenting is Heart Work

The videos were filmed before a live audience of parents and children. Using drama, Bible stories, and lots of illustrations, Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN will energize you and provide you with tools you need to strengthen your family. Use this eight-part video series in your church, small group, or even in your own family. Many times parents have to change the way they parent in order for children to change the way they live.

 

The Family Toolbox DVD Church Kit ($179.95 value)

he Family Toolbox has 8 lessons for parents, teens, or both in a small group setting. Each one has a 1-2 minute scene of a family living life and experiencing common challenges in their relationships. A discussion guide prompts dialogue among parents and a 10-minute teaching session featuring Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN gives practical tools to use right away.

As the group works through the lessons parents learn:

• How to focus on the heart instead of just behavior • The cues you give that tell your children when you mean business • Practical ways to remove conflict from the problems of family life • How to end correction times with impact • A tool for maximizing heart change in the correction process • The value of teaching kids to accept no as an answer • Ways to reduce anger episodes in children

The Family Toolbox is designed for families with children ten years old and up and is an excellent resource for small groups. Each lesson can be done in 20-30 minutes, but could also lead to discussion and dialogue lasting an hour or more.

Coupon to purchase resources in the NCBP Store ($100 value)

Visit the NCBP store to discover a plethora of church and parent training resources. 

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To enter, please use the Rafflecopter below.
  a Rafflecopter giveaway

Terms and Conditions: This giveaway is open to residents of the U. S. only.  Void where prohibited by law. Must be at least 18 years of age. This giveaway is in no away associated with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or Pinterest.. No purchase necessary for entry. Odds are determined by the number of entries. Selected winner will have 48 hours to respond to email notification to claim their prize or another winner will be drawn.  Entrants to this giveaway will be added to the email list for the National Center of Biblical Parenting.

Blessings,

Family Toolbox Review- Teaching 16 Life Success Principles

Let's face it, parenting is hard.  And parenting preteens and teens can often be even more difficult.  But there is help out there to help us navigate the difficult times and issues we often face.  The Family Toolbox,  produced by the National Center for Biblical Parenting, for ages 10-18, is one of those resources.  And a GREAT one at that!

I recently had the pleasure of being on a promotion team for The Family Toolbox and able to use the resources in my own home with my family.  This DVD based program is meant to teach parents how to handle issues with their kids as well as help children learn to modify their behavior.  Each of the 8 video lessons teach two Life Success Principles.

Each lesson taught is broken down into two separate video clips.  This first clip for each lesson is a 10-12 minute discussion with authors of the program, Dr. Scott Turansky and Joannne Miller, RN, BSN.  These discussions are meant for parents to view alone.  In them, they discuss the two life principles being taught and strategies for teaching those lessons.  Biblical background and examples are used when applicable.

The second video clip is 1-2 minutes long and intended to be watched together as a family.  That video is a dramatized family scene, highlighting two Life Success Principles that need to be addressed.

Once your family watches the videos together, you turn to the accompanying workbook.  In there you will find a few different resources for each of the 8 lessons.  The first is a general overview of the lesson, telling you what two Life Principles are being taught and what to look for in the video.  You as the parent should read through this section before beginning.  The next thing you will find is a teen success worksheet.  On that worksheet is a scene introduction and discussion questions.  The discussion questions are broken into two parts, one for each of the Life Principles.  These questions cover things from "what did you see?" to "what would you do?" type questions to help facilitate family discussion.  Each of these life principles is related to a bible verse and a question is tied to that part as well.  The lesson concludes with some thoughts and a prayer.  

The final resource you will find is a parent page.  This page helps you as a parent to think about and respond to not only things you heard in the parent portion of the video but also the family video clip.  It allows you to work through some of the strategies and put your thoughts and plans on paper. 

What did we think?

Wow!  I have to admit I am impressed.  Many years ago my husband and I taught a parenting program that we loved and this reminds me of it in many ways.  Powerful ideas but in an easy to learn format.  I like that the video clips for the family are short, but can be used to get a conversation flowing.  They do portray some pretty harsh scenes with arguing  and harsh words, so I would suggest you preview them beforehand to make sure you are comfortable with them as well as be careful using them with younger children in the room.  The questions are good, solid questions that will be helpful if you feel you need guidance.  Otherwise, I would encourage you to listen carefully to your children and let them help direct the conversation.  As the authors state, "Behavior is a symptom of a heart issue", and I think we all often get so caught up in just "fixing" the problem that we forget to fix the heart.

My favorite lesson?  Lesson 6- Accepting No as an Answer! The authors point out that we must teach our kids to live within limits.  After all, that is a skill that we will take with us into adulthood.  By teaching kids to accept no as an answer and by teaching kids to be problem solvers rather than whiners, we can say goodbye to arguing, badgering and whining.  Sign me up!  I love that there are real life solutions taught as well.  In this chapter an example is saying to your children, "That's whining, come back to me with a solution."  By equipping ourselves with simple statements like this, we are helping children take control of their own behavior and responses.

The Family Tool box can be purchased for $99.95 or downloaded for a suggested donation of $79.95.

You can also connect with the national Center for Biblical Parenting-

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/National-Center-for-Biblical-Parenting/116883041645

Twitter: https://twitter.com/biblicalparent

Linked In: http://www.linkedin.com/groups/National-Center-Biblical-Parenting-3874044?mostPopular=&gid=3874044