When You Feel Like You Failed

Let's just be honest.  Sometimes things in our lives do not look like what we thought they would.  Or should.  Plans get derailed, our time is needed somewhere else, people change, emergencies arise- things just happen.

Unfortunately, the same thing can happen in homeschooling.  Sometimes, even multiple times in a day.  I think I have finally landed in the camp that feels that the "whys" of those changes, or even failures, are not as important as our solutions to them.  Yes, we need to avoid pitfalls and make sure that we are not the root of the issue, but sometimes the best solution lies in the changes we make.

In our own lives, we saw this play out this past year.  It is no secret that when my husband was unexpectedly deployed, our lives kind of crashed for a while.  We went into survival mode.  Daily life looked a lot differently than normal- it had to just to survive.  Meals changed, schedules changed, and even school changed.  Yes, we continued school, but some weeks were better than others, and mom's follow up was not as good as it should have been.

Truth.

Some things fell through the crack and we are spending this summer reevaluating, regrouping, catching up and moving forward.  

A humbling lesson that even the best laid plans can change.  

So, how are we moving forward?

Ask yourself-

What REALLY happened?  Sometimes it is hard to see just the facts.  We get caught up in emotions and the many sides of the story.  Take time to sit down as a family and get to the facts.

How can this be avoided in the future?  Rather than dwelling on what happened, work on a solution.  Yes, mistakes may have been made, and people might be at fault, but how can we fix the problem from this day forward?

What can I learn from this?  There is always a lesson to be had from failure.  Or just mistakes.  Look for the lesson.  As parents, we are ultimately responsible for our kids while they are still young.  Each day I want to learn the lessons God wants to teach me, through my successes as well as my failures.

What do I want my child learn from this?  Again, what is the lesson we can teach our kids through this experience?  Sit down and talk about it.  Our times of brokeness are often the best times to reconnect as a family and draw closer together.  Use times of disappointment or failures to pull together as a team with a common goal- success!

How do we move forward?  Make a plan!  Now is not the time to "just do better."  Decide what specific changes need to be made and then formulate a specific plan to get to your desired goal.  You cannot hit a mark you have not made.

Forgive!  In most failures, there is plenty of blame to go around.  Forgive yourself, forgive others, and move forward.

Sometimes second chances are the best!

Blessings,